PORN?! A片?!

One evening I went to check out Aey's place, the other auditor who resigned. On the way to her place, she told me that she wanna become a writer after leaving this company. I asked her if she has written anything. She said yes. In fact, her book is just published. I am impressd and asked her what its about. And she said....


"Oh, its about PORN"
"Porn?"
"Yes, pron" (No way!)

And she told me that she will bring me one tomorrow. She is a muslin and wrote something about porn? Well, I am super interested in her book now! But after few minutes, I couldnt help myself and asked......"Isnt it difficult to write a book?"

"Not at all, as long as you have good imagination." Yeah, right. I really cant tell that she could be that good in that way since she looks very conservative. So I kept asking...... "Since when you had this idea??"

"Around 2006, I started to collect porn for 3 or 4 years.."
".......You collect them??" (OMG)
" Yes, My first experience about porn was long time ago...since I was 10."
"What????? (This's definately too over) What porn are you talking about?"
" In Thai?"
" OK. Could you spell the word, porn please?"
" p.o.E.M?"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
 
昨天下班，Aey約我去他家看房間(因為他要離職了，也許我也可以接收她的房間)  去的路上，他告訴我，離職後她想要當全職作家，我問他以前有寫過甚麼東西嗎，她說有，而且出版過一本書。我很驚訝也很好奇地問那本書是關於甚麼主題，她說....
 
"喔，是關於A片"
"A片?!"
"對呀，A片" (不會吧!?)
她還跟我說明天會帶一本給我。Aey是穆斯林卻寫一本跟A片有關的書?!  我對那本書的興趣馬上迅速提升。過幾分鐘，我還是忍不住地問她... "寫書不會很難嗎?!"
 
"不會呀，有好的想像力就可以" 最好是這樣，她看起來超級保守，很難相信她在這方面會有這麼好的想像力，所以我又問...  "你哪時的idea寫這本書?"
 
"大概是2006年，我收集(A片)了大概3,4年的時間"
"......你還收集它們??(A片)" (天呀)
"我很久以前就開始接觸A片了.......大概是10歲吧"
"甚麼?! (這有點太過分了吧?!)  你講的是甚麼A片呀?!"
"泰文的?!"
"OK. 那請你拼一下A片(porn)這個單字好嗎?"
"p.o.E.M(詩)?!"
 
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈(當場笑翻一車的人)

My Farewell Letter

Havnt really tried to write a farewell letter before.  kinda fun i would say. hehe

Dear all,
Today, I will officially leave this office and XXXX.(Nawarat! Don’t forget to pay me to 12th, but 10th, Dec!)  Don’t ask me the reason because the secret is a secret which couldn’t entertain you over a drink time anyway.  If you insist to know it, I wouldn’t mind whatever you like to make up for me as usual as long as I look good in your story.  ^^And I know that in this 7 months, I might not look like happy here all the time (who does?) but be honest, I really feel pretty much ok with the work and life I have here and did have more fun you have though of (if you really spent time on thinking of it I mean).  For that, I need to thank all of you.  Without any of you, I wouldn’t have so many different experiences no matter is good or bad.  Some of you might have got angry at me.  For that, I wanna say sorry, too.  Please believe me that it have never be my intention. ( I suggest you better take this apology to show how generous you are.  Yes, just like that. Leo!)

Thank you, all and wish you keep the faith on XXXX for long. 

Best regards,
Linda

PS. I know some of you gonna miss me.  well, meet you on Skype!
PS. Araya!  Please give my petty cash of Dec to Lindsay for Audit Room.  Thanks! 

親愛的同事，
(中文版不保證等同英文版，不過差距也不大)
今天，我將正式離開XXXX(Nawarat! 薪水請記得還是要算到12號喔)，請不要問我原因，因為秘密就是秘密，反正也不能帶給你們超過一杯飲料的娛樂時間。如果你們堅持要知道，如同往常，我不介意你們自己編故事，只要這次的故事，我是好人就行。 ^^我知道，在這7個月裡，我可能不是看起來都這麼愉快(谁是呢?)，但說真的，我真的對這段時間的工作與生活無太多抱怨，也確實得到比你們想像中還多的樂趣(如果你們真得有人花時間去想的話)。 對此，我就需要謝謝你們每個人。  沒有你們任何一位(比我早離開的就算了)，我就不會有這麼多無論好壞不同的經驗。  你們有些人之前對我我生過氣的。 對此，我也要跟你們道歉，請相信我這從來不是故意為之。(我建議你們趁此機會接受我的歉意，以顯示你們的大方。 是的，就是這樣，Leo!) 謝謝你們，也希望你們會長久維持對XXXX的信念。

琳達  敬上

註:我知道你們當中有些人，一定會很想念我。 那麼，大家就使蓋批見吧!
註2: 阿麗! 我12月的零用金，請交給陳林當稽核室聚餐基金。

My favor Thai..我最愛的泰語..

Some friends asked me how my Thai is since I have been in Thailand for 6 months. Well. First,  the company assigned our translators to teach us Thai but.... since I am their manager, my Thai teachers usually just stand for me being a very lazy student and maybe see me once in one or two month.  Senond, all my staffs speak Chinese so I dont see the point to work hard on it at all.  Third, also the most important one, Thai sounds so  fxxg annoying!!!!  People who think it sounds nice should take a hearing test!!!  :(   I guess its just not my thing.  Girls have to speak in the slow and soft way.  See~~ not my type at all.   And they speak all sentence with a following word, ka (shounds like FOOT in Taiwanese), to show your respect.  But seriously, it just makes the language even more..... annoying.  I had heard one staff to tell the hotel her tel. number in this way... 089 ka, XXXX ka, XX ka... correct ka... thank you ka.. ok ka...  OMG. No wonder they have to be slow. and how much respect is enough for them exactly?!
Well.  That I dont need or want to speak Thai doesnt mean people wont talk to me, so here is it.  I have my favor Thai now...

Pasa Thai mai ben!  (I dont speak Thai!)

Usually people would leave me alone after. Hehehe.  Oh, my 2nd favor Thai (especially at work) is that

Mai mee ban han. (No problem.) ^^

I dont think I would like Thai naturally.. like the way I like English, Spanish, or even German.  I always feel that its amazing to learn a new language but Thai.... Sigh.. What can I say? Its Thai, the language of the smile country. They smile, I curse.

有朋友問我泰語的學習進度，畢竟我已經在泰國滿6個月了。可是呢，首先，公司指派公司翻譯教我們泰文，但是公司翻譯歸我管，因此我的泰語老師們都十分忍受我是1,2個月只出席一次的超級懶學生。 再來，我的小朋友都會說中文，在工作上，我也沒有學習泰語的急迫性。 最後，也是最重要的一點，就是，泰語真得是聽起來很煩~~~~~~~~~~~~人的語言。 對於那些覺得泰語聽起來很美妙的人，我建議他們應該要先檢查聽力。 :( 當然啦，也可能只是泰語不對我的味，例如女生講泰語應該要又慢又柔，一聽就知道跟我不合。再加上，泰語女生講話每個句子後面都要加上一聲"Ka"(因同台語的腳ㄎㄚ)，以表示對對方的尊敬。 可是說真的，我覺得聽起來只是更煩而已。 就曾經聽過小朋友跟飯訂訂房報電話時，089ㄎㄚ, XXXX ㄎㄚ, XXXㄎㄚ，對ㄎㄚ，謝謝ㄎㄚ，OKㄎㄚ......是有沒有這麼尊敬呀???!!! 聽得我火都要起來了。


但是我不想說泰語，不代表別人不會找我說話，因此，我發現一個很有用的泰語，也是我的最愛......

帕薩泰 賣便 (不會泰文)

通常這樣講，對方就不會再吵我了。不過，我在工作上最愛聽到的泰語則是.....

賣咪搬"ㄏㄚˊ" (沒有問題) ^^

我想，自己大概是不可能會"自然地"覺得泰語好聽，就像對英文, 西班牙文，甚至德文一樣。我總覺得學習一種新語言是很神奇的事情，不過泰語喔......唉, 我能說甚麼? 人家可是來自於微笑國度耶。他微笑，我吐血。

對話

計程車上


司機:在這邊工作很辛苦吧?!
琳達:哪裡工作都很辛苦呀
司機:那現在是要回家嗎?!
琳達:是要"去"公司
司機:不在台灣作了?
琳達:對呀，你剛剛不是也覺得很辛苦
司機:那現在去哪裡?! 有比台灣好嗎?
琳達:泰國
司機:從你家到泰國公司要多久呀?
琳達:要"飛"3.5個小時
司機:咦?! 所以你不是..?那從台灣飛到泰國要多久呀?
琳達:3.5個小時
司機:啊 跟你家飛過去一樣呀!? 那你家在哪裡呀??!
琳達:..................................台灣
司機:.....厚~~~ 那你待台灣很久了喔(十分固執地以為我是一定是移民的嗎?? 有人會為了台灣公民這麼麻煩嗎????)
琳達:我是台灣人.....一直都是....


飛機上

機員:(對著我前面的乘客耐心地指示座位方向)您好，請前面左轉..您好，請這裡右轉...

..........輪到我時

機員: 懂白，流滑(泰語: 直走，右轉)
琳達:....................Excuase me??!!